On this episode, jumping off from last week’s essay topic on disability accommodations, I talk about 7 Things NOT To Say to Someone With a Learning Disability. Please let me know your experiences in the comments or if you have any questions! Enjoy!
1. “You don’t look like you have a disability.”
I have legit been told this before. Yes, much of this is ignorance, but please refrain from saying this to someone. There are many types of disabilities, and not all disabilities are visible ones.
2. “What happened?”
Most of us are born with them. For whatever reason, our brains are wired differently. It doesn’t mean we experienced some form of trauma in the womb or as young children.
3. “I would never think YOU had a learning disability!”
Newsflash: all types of people have learning disabilities. These disabilities don’t discriminate based on age, race, gender, etc. This is rude, because it’s incredibly judgmental. It really shows a person’s ignorance. Saying this to someone with a learning disability can really invalidate our experience and our diagnosis.
4. “Oh, do you have Dyslexia? I’ve heard of that.”
We don’t all have Dyslexia. There are many different types of learning disabilities. Please don’t assume that we all have the same one.
5. “Are you sure you’re not just using this as a crutch?”
One of my middle school science teachers asked me this. It was extremely hurtful, but I didn’t have the language at the time to articulate why. Saying this to someone with a learning disability is completely inappropriate. Asking this assumes we are lying about our disability and our need for accommodations. I’m not using it as a “crutch.” It’s all I know.
6. “Why are you allowed extra time on a test/project/etc? That’s unfair!”
Actually, it’s not unfair. All through school, part of my IEP (Individualized Education Plan) was to be given extra time for tests. Because tests are created in a one-size-fits-all way, giving a person with a learning disability extra time allows for somewhat of a level playing field. It takes many of us longer to process information, and then to show that information in the form of a test, so the extra time is necessary. Having extra time on a test never gave me a leg up--trust me--I did poorly on several tests even WITH extra time.
7. “I can help you overcome this!”
No. You can’t. This statement assumes a) you think you know what we’re dealing with, and b) that we must obviously want to be “fixed.” Learning disabilities don’t get better with time. Those of us with them just learn how to work with them more, and not against them. There is no “overcoming” our disability. And honestly, I wouldn’t want to. It’s a part of my identity. It’s a part of who I am, and how I think.
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