Let The Snow Bless You

Sometimes I think of myself as a snow angel

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Happy December, dear readers. My birthday is 12 days away.

When I left the house this morning it was a crisp 13 degrees (-10.5 celsius). I smiled when I realized I could see my breath. I smiled when the first snow gently fell over Madison this past Monday. I smiled when I thought about all of the people who think of me anytime it snows—anytime it’s cold. I think of exes who still think of me anytime it snows. I think of people I no longer speak to who think of me when it snows; who remember that grrrl who loves snow + cold so hard and talks about it every chance she gets.

Sometimes I think of myself as a snow angel—not in any godly sense, although, there is godliness in all of us—but more so in the way that I walk the earth wanting/hoping/wishing to feel the both/and of cold and cozy. I prefer to be cold. I prefer to feel the chill down to my bones.

Lately, I’ve been reading a lot about Svalbard. North of mainland Norway, Svalbard is one of the world’s northernmost inhabited places with a population of 2350. I started following Cecilia Blomdahl, a woman on TikTok who hails from Sweden, but lives in Svalbard. The videos I’ve watched of the “darkest polar night” had me giddy and wanting. You can practically feel the snow and cold when watching these videos.

I don’t know what it says about me that a place like Svalbard is, quite literally, my dream land. There aren’t many people, everyone knows everyone, it’s cold and snowy often, and you’re far away from the rest of the world. These are all things I find myself grasping for at the moment.

I thought I had “made it” when I moved to Chicago in 2008. I thought I wanted to live in a big, bustling city. When I moved back to Madison in 2012, and ever since then, I have felt suffocated by the amount of people all around me. Madison has grown a lot since 2012, and I’ve been feeling the repercussions of that. This city, my home city, feels too big for me and too far south. I need the north. I need to breathe.

Perhaps it’s my Danish ancestry deep in my bones that makes me so in love with the cold (my southern Italian side could never). I remember hearing stories about my great-grandfather ice skating around town in Aalborg, Denmark (northern Denmark). My grandma, Elvira, grew up skiing to school in Woodville, Wisconsin. She never feared the cold nor the snow. Neither did her parents or siblings.

If you respect the cold and the snow, I find that it respects you. It takes care of you. It blesses you. If you let it do its thing, it might bring you gifts. I’ll leave you with one of my favorite poems about snow by Mary Oliver. Let the snow (and the cold) hold you.

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🫀 Mood Board for the Week

1. Read Palestine Week: My TBR from

   cat on the internet

2. This brilliant interview with Dean Spade by

   Kelly Hayes

3. We’ve all been there,

   Jessica DeFino
   !

4. Bought my first digital Christmas advent calendar which opens up new Christmas-y games and scenes from Dec. 1 to Dec. 24. Not gonna lie: I’m pretty excited about this.

5. My 38th bday is coming up. Lachristmas is coming. Feeling weird about it. Not feeling super celebratory.

6. Madison - Palestine Solidarity Week schedule

7. Bjork AND Rosalia?!

8. Check out my Winter playlist: