Living Ghosts

The first butch lesbian cop I knew

(another version of this was published on here in 2020).

At my doctor’s appointment my mom said there was a gun in the house.

It’s a common question that doctors ask for safety reasons: “Do you have a gun in the home?” I felt embarrassed and startled by my mom’s answer. I felt unsafe.

My mom began dating a woman a year or two after my parent’s divorce. I was six, so the fact that this person was a woman wasn’t really issue. Kids don’t really care about that shit. Keri was the first “Gold Star” butch lesbian cop I had ever met. The cop part was the main issue for me—even as a child.

During one of the first nights Keri slept over, there was a thunderstorm. It woke me up, and I ran to my mom’s bedroom seeking comfort. I ran right into Keri. She had blocked the doorway to my mom’s room.