In pre-pandemic times, I ate at the occasional restaurant. I went to the occasional bar. I saw a movie in the occasional theater. Now? I don’t do any of those things, and I don’t miss it. I don’t miss the cost, the time, the distraction. This is why it’s difficult for me to understand peoples’ overwhelming desire to do these things now, when we’re still very much in a pandemic.
I polled my Instagram followers about this and so many people sent me private messages. The responses ranged from, “I want to support service workers” to “I’m a parent and being able to sit at a restaurant without my child and with other adults is amazing.” The messages people sent me about why they choose to eat at restaurants made sense to me, even if my newly socially anxious self thinks it sounds exhausting. Many also said it was about the convenience and being taken care of: having someone cook for you, clean up for you, wait on you. I can understand wanting those things.
But doing them even during a pandemic? That’s harder for me to understand.
There is so much I wish and hope and dream for this world. I’m incredibly distressed and saddened by the lack of pandemic response from the U.S. People should have been paid to stay home (this still could be done, but it won’t). You can’t respond to a global pandemic individually—it doesn’t work—and yet, that’s what we’re all tasked with doing. I don’t like it, but I wish more people—especially so-called leftists and queers—would commit to it. Wear a mask in public spaces. Go out to eat slightly less or go to places with outdoor seating. Find yourself and each other outside of capitalism. I think there are ways we can have community—safely—without spending money; without capitalist distractions.
I keep thinking about immunocompromised folks. I keep thinking about home-bound folks. I keep thinking about how many people we are leaving behind, and outright excluding because of our own search for momentary joy (or connection?) at restaurants or other establishments. Is going out to eat the hill you’re willing to die on? Seriously, because people are still dying from Covid—even vaccinated folks. Before I think about doing anything that I deem “risky,” I ask myself: “Is this worth getting Covid (or any illness)?” Most of the time it’s not. Eating food right when it comes out of the oven is nice, but I’m not willing to risk getting sick (or worse) for it.
Obviously we have limited control around getting sick, but if we can make things slightly less risky for ourselves and each other, then why wouldn’t we do it? Why, at the very least, would we not wear a mask in public spaces? Why, at the very least, would we go out to an establishment a bit less? In a recent post about the importance of mask-wearing, Mia Mingus writes:
We should *all* continue masking because masking is a concrete practice of love for each other. Masking is an in-real-time practice of interdependence, collective care and abolition. Plus, there are many who can’t mask such as some of our disabled kin and infants, as well as millions more who are forced to work in high risk environments such as restaurants, large offices or stores. Masking supports safety for everyone.
I think back to the beginning of the pandemic when so many things moved to the digital world. There was a Zoom for any and everything. I know many people are Zoom’d out. I also know that the many online opportunities that have since been dropped are sorely missed by those who are immunocompromised and/or disabled, as well as their loved ones and allies.
Have we forgotten how to sit with ourselves (and each other) away from bustling capitalist distractions?
I’m not advocating for people to stop doing what they’re doing—I don’t have nor do I want that power. What I am advocating for is for people to reflect on why they do what they’re doing. Do you go out all the time because you can’t be alone? Do you only see loved ones at establishments because it’s too difficult to sit with them alone on a park bench or at home? I think most of us have at least one thing we’re running from—what are you running from? What can’t you sit with?
Reflection brings connection and I think we all could use both right now.
🎉 Mood Board for the Week
“Just know that I, too, would like to eat a plate of pancakes on a Sunday morning in a bustling diner. I just have to continually ask myself the same question: Are those pancakes worth dying for?”
This new tea zine from Rachael Zafer and Mariame Kaba!
Mariame Kaba shared this in her recent post on
(which you all should subscribe to) and as a fellow librarian, I love it: “The only video footage of the first Black librarian in the New York Public Library system, Catherine LatimerThis quote from Lauren Berlant, “The thing about trauma, as I always say to my [Literature of] Trauma students, is that it doesn’t kill you and you have to live with it. And that’s the thing about comedy, too. The comedy is that you get up again after you fall off the cliff, and have to keep moving. You have to live with the brokenness, and you have to live with surprise, and you have to live with contingency. And you have to live with the pleasure of not knowing, if you can bear it. But how you have to live with it is another story.”
Really feeling this from
(who you should also subscribe to if you don’t already!)Resharing the Digital Literacy Against Digital Violence: A Handbook for Academic Library Workers that I co-developed with other badass library workers (psst! it can be applied to more than just library folks!)
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As someone who LOVES to go out to eat and is also immunocompromised, I've only eaten *inside* a restaurant seven times since March 2020, and I only did so because it was either too cold for patio, it started raining, or I would have missed out on something I really wanted to experience like a graduation. It's so possible to find patios, which is what I do when I decide it's something I'd really like to experience. I mask everywhere I go (I'm know you know this via my IG) and it continues to baffle me the situations in which people could simply be wearing a mask. While waiting in line, when people begin to notice it's getting crowded somewhere, grocery stores, just... ugh. I am so feeling this frustration. I've been thinking about writing about it too, but it just seems so useless. Even the people who were extremely COVID-cautious even a few weeks ago have begun to waver because of the ending of the emergency status in the US. Anyway. It just really makes me feel so much better when I read things like this and knowing it's still on other people's minds like it is mine. You're not alone. Signed, your very masked and scared pal. <3
Amen! Makes me think about these two tweets from The Vertlartnic:
https://twitter.com/TheVertlartnic/status/1654146602313891840
https://twitter.com/TheVertlartnic/status/1654146602313891840