Summer Seasonal Affective Disorder

Tis the season! I hate it!

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(I wrote this last year and added/subtracted a few things)

The first time I ever fainted was in preschool.

It was a typical hot midwestern summer day and I was leaning against a wall watching toy trains indoors. I remember feeling warm and uncomfortable. Suddenly, I slumped down to the floor. My teacher picked me up and carried me to a cooler area, where I came to shortly after. She let me pick out a stuffed animal. I chose a small plush bean-filled goldfish. The fainting due to overheating was the first of many. I have neurocardiogenic syncope (previously called vaso vagaly syncope). My three triggers for fainting are: blood/pain, overheating, and needles. Don’t ask me how I powered through 11 tattoos. The overheating trigger seems to be the biggest. The trauma of fainting is just one of the many reasons I prefer feeling cold.

at my happiest when it’s cold enough to wear a coat

I’ve said for years that I “come alive” in the colder months whereas many people feel the opposite. In winter, I feel happy, invigorated, energized, and calm. In summer, I feel manic and agitated. This can be typical of summer SAD sufferers.

Seasonal Affective Disorder, a common mood disorder that was first described by Dr. Norman Rosenthal in 1984, is mostly discussed in terms of how it affects people in winter. People with winter SAD have more tendency towards depression, low energy, and hopelessness.

I found out about its summer counterpart several years ago through some online sleuthing and a discussion with my psychiatrist. I felt relieved. I finally knew what was going on with me, and it made so much sense.

Summer SAD, coined shortly after its winter equivalent, creates different symptoms in its sufferers. According to Dr. Rosenthal, people with summer SAD:

often lose appetite, sleep and weight, and are agitated rather than lethargic—all opposite to the typical symptoms of Winter-SAD.

I don’t personally lose weight in summer, but I do notice how off my appetite feels. I feel less hungry. Food doesn’t taste as good. My sleep is definitely worse. We still don’t know definitively what causes summer SAD. Researchers say it could be due to increased light and heat, as well as genetics.

I have a really difficult time with the increase of light and heat. The fact that the sun is currently setting at 8:30pm really fucks me up.

As someone who has Generalized Anxiety Disorder, PTSD, and Sensory Integration Disorder, the heat makes me feel the way I do when I’m having an anxiety or panic attack. I feel sweaty, hyper-vigilant, and “floaty” (a feeling only other anxious people will understand).

the scrunched face of a child who never liked the sun/heat

WebMD (every anxious person’s favorite website) says that 4-6% of the US population is affected by winter SAD. However, approximately 10% of people who experience SAD get it in reverse, and more women than men have SAD (this doesn’t take into account people of other genders, unfortunately).

Each year, as I watch people’s excitement grow about the warmer weather, I think: Why can’t I be like that? and God, I hate those people. Instead of excitement, I feel depressed, anxious, uncomfortable, and irritable. I spend most summers in central air conditioning (if it’s available). I badly want to go outside and be in nature, but anything above 75 degrees (24 Celsius) has me staying in cold dark rooms.

Part of the depression of summer SAD is due to fomo (fear of missing out). In summer, everyone else seems to be having a great time. They’re out and about, enjoying the weather, but you—as a sufferer of summer SAD—are self-barricaded in the coolest, darkest room you can find. How do you even ask people to hang out with you?

“Hey… wanna spend some time in a cold dark room?” Most people don’t seem into this. The older I get, the less fomo I have. I’m totally fine to not go and do all the things outdoors in summer (or ever, tbh).

If you’re a winter SAD sufferer, you’re not as alone or as isolated, since many more people experience it (and talk about it). Your misery has much more company.

In an article for Psychology Today, Lina Jamis says that:

while winter SAD is linked to a lack of sunlight, it is thought that summer SAD is due to the reverse—possibly too much sunlight, which also lead to modulations in melatonin production.

It’s evident from just the small amount of research done on summer SAD sufferers that a person can be affected by heat, light, or both. Other researchers think summer allergies could also be to blame. With climate change, allergies are getting more intense. For me, it’s the combination of heat, extra daylight, and allergies.

How does one handle SAD in the summertime? Well, I’m still figuring it out. It already feels like summer here in the Midwest, so I’m biding my time until fall.

As I said above, being in air conditioning is major for me (and I know what a privilege it is). However, Dr. Rosenthal tells The Cut that cold therapy is fleeting:

The trouble with cold therapy, which might be seen as the equivalent of light therapy, is that it doesn’t seem to last… If you’re in the cool air conditioning, it helps you while you’re in it, but then when you go outside—my patients have described it as being hit by a wall of heat.

I can definitely attest to this. It’s a shock to the system, going from extreme cold to extreme heat. I think of the Bob Newhart show and his “fear of humidity” group and honestly, I would join.

Because of the how little summer SAD has been studied (compared to its winter counterpart), we still don’t know how to treat it in the long run. Doctors recommend typical things like staying out of direct sunlight and heat, getting enough sleep, eating well, light exercise, and taking an antidepressant.

If I could live in a perpetual winter, I would. If I could live where it snowed every second of every day, I would. Perhaps this is why I feel called to live in Duluth, Minnesota. It’s the farthest north I could feasibly move to at the moment. It’s always at least ten degrees cooler than Madison. Also, Lake Superior is a fucking dream.

Before finding out about summer SAD, I often felt alone in my severe discomfort with summer. I was treated like I was “overreacting” by friends and family. But knowing that others feel this way—knowing that others exist—has been incredibly helpful in my journey. This year, I’m also trying something new: reading and watching media that has an abundance of wintry scenes. Yes, I’m watching Christmas movies in June. Yes, I’m reading novels with intense snow storylines.

The next time someone acts like you’re ridiculous because you aren’t basking in the 85-degree weather, remember: you’re not alone! Not everyone likes the feeling of their skin melting off.

Some of us would prefer to lay down in a gentle, soft snow pile than be burned alive by the sun.

1. META FINALLY CHANGED MY USERNAME TO MY NAME. This has been a process that was (at least) 2 years in the making. (They don’t allow those of us who were verified before you had to pay for it to change our usernames on our own). I’m very happy to shed the name “The Guerrilla Feminist” online and just be known by my name. It’s part of my book title, tho :)

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