Quitting Sugar

The increase in anxiety ain't worth it

• The Guerrilla Feminist is reader-supported! Thank you to the folks who pay monthly to support my work. If you want to upgrade to paid, go here.

• Add your favorite song to The Guerrilla Feminist Spotify Playlist!

• Please share my writing with your community and comrades! Forward this email to a friend, put it in your own newsletter, screenshot and share it on social media.

Sugar, it’s not you. It’s me. Except it’s actually you and also me because we don’t play well together. I need to quit you.

Now that the hustle and bustle of the holidays has simmered, and the people are all quietly nestled in their fatphobic New Year’s resolutions, I am thinking about my own resolutions—one in particular: quitting white sugar.

This isn’t even about physical health and it’s certainly not about weightloss (for me). It’s about the correlation I’ve noticed between increased anxiety and increased sugar intake. It’s about needing/wanting to try anything, because the current way is not sustainable.

I’ve had a good run with sugar. I have an enormous sweet tooth. I love any baked goods, chocolate bars, cake, pie—I will essentially eat anything dressed in sugar. I don’t discriminate.

I grew up with a dad who was a bit traumatized by sugar. My grandmother made endless cakes, cookies, and pies for him and his brother growing up. My dad began to have stomach aches after eating so much sugar, so as a child, he decided he didn’t like it. At the ripe age of 75, he is still very much this way.

My dad put the fear of diabetes in me from a young age. We have a fairly strong family history of this illness, so it makes sense. My grandmother ended up with type 2 diabetes and could no longer enjoy all of the gorgeous and yummy sweets she used to make. One of her older sisters, Rosella, died at 21 from type 1 diabetes—most likely because no one knew she had it, and there wasn’t medicine or testing in the early 1900s. My great-grandfather, Hans, died of complications of type 2 diabetes. My great-grandfather, Angelo, also died of complications with type 2 diabetes.

I’m not diabetic (yet) or pre-diabetic (yet), but I’m hoping to not get there (if I can help it).

In 2016, I quit white sugar/added sugar. The first week was terrible. I had all of the withdrawal symptoms, namely: dizziness, irritability, fatigue. Once I got past that, I felt amazing. I noticed an immediate decrease in my anxiety. The near constant buzzing I was used to living with had dissipated to almost nothing. I stayed off sugar for about six months.

I started to think, “Oh, I can have one almond croissant once in a while.” I started to think, “I can have a few cookies.” The problem with this is that once I broke my no-added-sugar clause, my anxiety rose. Because my sugar tolerance had drastically decreased, I ate one baked good and felt like I might have an anxiety attack. It scared me, but not enough to make me stop. I started eating more sugar again. I started to feel the constant buzzing in my body again.

So, you see, I need to just stop. Coffee will have to be my lone vice. I just can’t see a way where added sugar and I can cohabitate anymore. As I age, my body becomes even more sensitive to what I put it in it and what I do to/with it.

I need to honor this.

1. Antifascism Means Refusing to Abandon - Kelly Hayes

2. Ethical Questions Arise After AI “Completes” Keith Haring Painting

3. A Reading for the Edward Said Libraries with Mosab Abu Toha & Friends

4. An artist swaps her head with everyday objects in a musing on consumerism

5. In the Fight Against Book Bans, Retired Librarians Are Making a Difference | From the Editor

6. If you have a library card, don’t use Audible! Use Libby!

7. girl culture panic & the failures of feminism -

   radical love letters

8. How Did I Change So Much, So Quickly? -

   Andrea Gibson

9. A song per te: